Friends to lovers - like or loathe?
by Flo Nicoll on January 26th, 2012, 5:21pm
Hi everyone!
I’m digging for info here - what do you all think about ‘friends become lovers’ as a theme?
It’s something I can never make my mind up about. More than anything, I love an unrequited crush story - who doesn’t have an older brother’s best friend/equivalent heading up their secret ‘if only…’ wishlist? But to suddenly start sparking off someone you’ve only ever considered a friend…well, would that be a bit weird? Especially in the bedroom? (And especially if you’re close friends and have the whole brother/sister vibe going…)
But I’m perfectly prepared to believe that’s just me! So, for anyone who loves loves LOVES this theme, here are Romance HQ’s top tips on what to think about before putting pen to paper…
- Beware lack of conflict: they obviously know - and like! - each other so what’s keeping them apart? To avoid these stories going soft, dig deep into those intrinsic emotional barriers!
- If you’re running with an unrequited crush scenario, perhaps steer clear of them still being close friends! The power balance here is really hard to pull off - it’s either the heroine pining over a boy who’s never looked at her that way, or a hero besotted with his fun-loving friend, which can get a bit beta…
- Be careful with what triggers the sudden onslaught of lust - highly contrived plot points are most definitely to be avoided.
So that’s the advice part of the blog over, but basically, I just want to get your take on the whole idea! Is it a theme that appeals, or sends you running in the opposite direction? Any great examples to convince the naysayers – fact or fiction! Pitfalls from your own writing experience? All feedback welcome!
Love Flo x
I love them! As you
I love them!
As you and others have mentioned, it's a tricky conflict to straddle--particularly with keeping the hero a sexy Alpha--but it makes excellent writers rise to the challenge. My favorite friends-to-lovers book isn't a romance per se, but Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married by Marian Keyes features a very realistic and romantic f-to-l theme(I seriously get a silly grin on my face when this happens even though I've read the book 10 times!). Now you've stoked my imagination Flo...there could be a M&B Historical plot here...
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Well, "hate" is a strong
Well, "hate" is a strong word, but I will confess that Friends to Lovers stories are not my favorite. When the H/H have known each other for a long time and are comfortable enough with each other to consider themselves friends, then the tension just isn't quite the same.
Of course, that doesn't mean I want them instant enemies, either :)
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Fascinating to hear all your
Fascinating to hear all your insights - and about the real-life happy endings! Just playing devil's advocate here, but in the interests of a balanced argument, any haters out there?
Friends to lovers - Yes! Unless it's - Epic Fail
The biggest conflict (IMHO/or for me) is the what if we do and we're done afterwards. The fear that I now no longer have my best friend is a strong motivator to not even try. Of course if the set up is that there was always sexual tension between these two friends there is nothing "weird" or "brother/sister" about the relationship to begin with. But then I'm thinking about a relationship I had in the past. There was a sexual tension between us from puberty on, however we could never get past our possible loss of our best friend.
Another relationship close male friend? Yeah--NO. We were too much brother/sister and neither one of us was ever inclined to take it in any other direction.
So I LOVE a 'best friend to lover of the always a sexual tension between the two' story.
I think it would be harder to convince me if it was a brother/sister type best friend story.
I'm writing one right now!
I'm writing one right now! But you're quite right - it can't be just suddenly out of the blue, there's the sexual tension. I've had to tweak set up so that there were common threads that made them friends, but an awareness that had been there for a while.
I love reading them, too.
Donna
HONEYMOON WITH THE RANCHER, Cherish UK March 2011
A FAMILY FOR THE RUGGED RANCHER, Cherish UK June 2011
HOW A COWBOY STOLE HER HEART, Cherish UK October 2011
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Too close to home
I love it, but I've never written it and don't think I would try because like Maisey it's my story.
I actually think it's heaped with conflict (and this is me generalising and definitely not talking about real life experience!) that's not just situational. All that angsting about what you might lose if things go wrong, and the pressure - what if you just don't live up to expectations? And what if he doesn't? And what will everyone think? And maybe you'd be better just being happy with what you have...
But looking at all that, I'm wondering now if that's such familiar territory for loads of people that maybe they don't want to go there in a romance because it is just too close to home.
Difficult call
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Flo, at the risk of
Flo, at the risk of sounding like a broken record...I did a friends to lovers recently! It's one of my very, very favorite storylines. It can be difficult to keep up tension, but I think it can also create a lot of tension. There's a lot of risk in moving a friendship to a new level!
And as someone who married their friend...(who was also my boss...hmmm) I have to say that theme always resonnates with me.