The Benefits (?!) of Bad Sex
by Flo Nicoll on January 19th, 2012, 1:50pm
Hi all,
Thanks for the great discussion about virgins last week – part of my secret plan to get you all geared up for this week’s even more controversial issue: what role (if any) bad sex should play in our books!
Now, category romance is all about universal truths and relationships. And I don’t think I’d be putting words in too many people’s mouths by saying an unfortunate universal romantic truth is that sex – even with someone you care about – can be underwhelming. Nice, not bed-breaking. Awkward, not multiple-simultaneous-orgasm amazing. (Particularly that first time…) Basically, a literal anti-climax!
To the doubters, however, Romance HQ is proposing this week that bad sex CAN work in a romance, and to really great effect! I laughed til I cried at Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis’s very mechanical, awkward-yet-still-successful first time in Friends with Benefits. Who couldn’t love either of their characters having watched them fudge their way through this encounter?! And in Sarra Manning’s recent book You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me, whilst the hero and heroine’s first attempt is excruciatingly embarrassing, it taps so perfectly into the heroine’s body issues that it’s awesomely powerful.
So, here are the top tips for anyone who wants to see a bit more realism in the bedroom…!
The benefits (!) of bad sex in a romance…
- Bad/ awkward/ funny sex involves the reader in the moment much more intensely - sometimes it can be hard to stay with your characters whilst they’re miraculously and instantly zooming off to blissful, orgasmic happiness!
- If at first you don’t succeed…When the couple’s relationship has developed enough for them to sleep together in more style, you really believe it’s good! As the author’s been frank with you about any botched attempts, you automatically trust the improved fireworks.
…and how to pull it off!
- It’s ESSENTIAL to tie it into the character conflicts. Awkward sex between two virgins can be sweet and funny. Bad sex because one character, despite years of practice, is simply bad in bed…much less so!
- This is also how you get around the common concern that it reflects badly on the hero’s sexual prowess… for us at Romance HQ, his heroism can be proved just as much by how the hero handles the aftermath of bad sex than the gazillion orgasms he magically gives her.
- Finally, keep that spark and romance going, even during the awkwardness. After all, it’s a romance – the reader needs to be reassured that the chemistry is sizzling and spectacular sex is definitely on the horizon!
But this is just Romance HQ’s take…what do you all think? Is bad sex an underrated, underused scenario, or a TOTAL category romance no-no?
Love Flo x
Did you say awkward?
But on the other hand can't it create quite a turning point in the story? I think it could work well for a couple when one has body issues.
Sometimes the fantablous sex right from the start feels a little ho-hum to me. And yes, I have skipped right over some scenes when it seemed more like insert part A into part B, or some of the positions seemed too awkward to even be possible. More than once I've tried to contort myself in some of the positions and decided that author has no real idea how joints bend. No really, the shoulder and hip are the only ball and pivet joints in the body and they only swing just so far. LOL
I prefer a little more
I prefer a little more realism while I'm reading so definitely think bad sex isn't a no-no - delivered with a deft touch and a small dose of humor. Of course, this puts a lot of pressure on the characters' NEXT time together . . .
Amy Strnad w/a Aimee Carson
www.aimeecarson.com
Secret History of a Good Girl Harlequin Presents Extra Feb. 2012
Dare She Kiss And Tell? UK Modern June 2012
I think it all comes back to
I think it all comes back to story and character. If it suits, then why not? ;) It can be funny, endearing, sweet, awkward...and real. On the flipside, I have no trouble with the sex being faaaabulous the first time, even if that is more fantasy than reality.